


The To Do List

by Rachel500



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Adventure, Challenge: Women of the Gate, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-27
Updated: 2008-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-19 23:18:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachel500/pseuds/Rachel500
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Vala have a lot to do when their team-mates go missing just before a big race with an Ancient prize up for grabs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The To Do List

**Author's Note:**

> Stargate SG1 is somebody else's, probably MGM/Gekko Corp/Sci-fi, and I freely admit that whoever's it is, I'm borrowing their show and they retain all rights, etc
> 
> Written for the Women of the Gate ficathon. Prompt was Sam and Vala rescuing the guys; team; friendship; motorcycles; no Furlings. This has established S/J for those that want to see it but can be read as a gen fic. Thanks to Jia Zen for the beta. Set post-Ark of Truth but pre SGA S4. Spoilers for SG1.

**The To-do List**

'What do you mean you've lost General O'Neill?' Samantha Carter demanded brusquely.

Cameron Mitchell winced under the ferocity of her glare. 'Sam…' He stopped, cleared his throat and started again, gesturing with his hands to the left of him and the empty space. 'He was standing right beside me and then…' he looked desperately around at the rest of the SG1 men.

'He wasn't.' Daniel Jackson supplied succinctly, jumping in. His words were accompanied by a small helpless shrug.

Teal'c's stoic expression remained stoic; Sam deduced he had nothing to add.

Vala blew a pink bubble; large, round, fat. With her dark hair braided tightly into two pigtails she would have looked twelve except for the leather BDU that was moulded to her body. The bubble popped in the silence with the crack of a gunshot. She stuck out her tongue and looped the mess back into her mouth in one smooth motion. She rocked back, her hands in the pockets of the jacket and looked at Sam with raised eyebrows. 'Boys are just so careless with their Generals these days, don't you think?'

Sergeant Siler snorted behind her and Sam was tempted to smile but the beginnings of a tension headache behind her left eye negated the urge.

Damn it.

It was supposed to be a fun mission.

With the Ori defeated and no big bad guy to fight anymore, the galaxy was reclaiming its own traditions, and in the case of the planet Gabraderi that meant reinstating its annual motorcycle race which was open to all the interplanetary travellers who did trade on the planet. Well, the Gabraderi didn't actually call it a motorcycle race; they called it the Grand Dicolo Race. Earth and the SGC had been tipped off about it by the Tok'ra of all people. Why they had brought it to their attention had been clear: the suspected prize in the Gabraderi Grand Dicolo was an Ancient piece of technology found in one of Anubis's old hide-outs.

SG1 had been dispatched to investigate two weeks before. The Gabraderi, a progressive matriarchal society, had been delighted to welcome SG1, but they were rather unforthcoming about the prize. SG1 had actually only been able to see a picture of the box-shaped, foot-long object with several cool buttons on it. The Gabraderi kept it under lock and key, and they only intended handing it over to the winner of the Grand Dicolo. The only way SG1 were going to get their hands on it was to win it.

Luckily for Sam and Vala only women could compete on Gabraderi and Sam could admit to herself that she was as gleeful as the former thief. Gaining permission had also been surprisingly easy even with General Landry's mysterious assumption that Sam had sold her motorcycle (she had no clue where he had gotten _that_ idea), and Daniel's assertion that it could be an Ancient toaster.

She hadn't been the only one to glare at Daniel when he'd said that, Sam assured herself. Jack had also looked fairly pissed. The lure of getting off-world on the flimsiest excuse that the prize could be Ancient tech and it would be useful to have someone with the gene along in case it was a bomb and not a toaster, had been more than enough for Jack to agree to the mission.

She dragged her mind back on topic. Jack: missing. Three guilty and sheepish male faces looking at her while the polished chrome of the motorcycle behind Siler and Vala gleamed in the bright alien sunshine.

The race would begin at noon. SG1, along with Siler who had been roped in as chief mechanic, had arrived promptly on the planet at eight to prepare. That had been an hour before. As women, Vala and Sam had been the only ones allowed into the pre-race briefing which had been surprisingly short given there were only two rules: no deliberate killing allowed during the race (always a relief to know) and the first biker to complete the track which wound its way through Gabraderi's capital city of BraDeri was the winner.

The boys had gone to see whether they could drum up any more information on the Ancient device while Siler had watched over the motorcycle. Sam had been surprised to see them return from their investigation so fast, and even more surprised to see them return without the General.

'He was right beside you.' Sam repeated sarcastically, staring at Mitchell.

'OK, so he was maybe a couple of steps behind…' Mitchell allowed, holding up both hands.

'Well, maybe more than a couple of steps.' Daniel confessed miserably. 'You see, there was this sculpture of the Gabraderian Queen Deanni Jujo which I wanted to examine and…' his voice trailed away at the look in her eyes.

Teal'c adjusted his stance subtly capturing Sam's attention. 'O'Neill was bored.'

'Of course he was.' Sam muttered.

'I swear, Sam,' Mitchell declared sincerely, 'we only took our eyes off him for a minute.'

'Maybe more than a minute.' Daniel corrected, evidently deciding honesty was the best policy.

Mitchell shot him a look. 'OK, so a few minutes.'

'We hoped O'Neill had simply returned to meet with you after your pre-race briefing.' Teal'c informed her briskly.

Sam shook her head. 'We haven't seen him.' She reached for her radio. 'General, this is Carter. Come in.'

'Uh, Sam?' Daniel put his hand up as though in school, 'we have tried that already.'

This was bad, Sam considered more seriously. Jack did have a tendency to get into trouble off-world. The only good thing was that he usually got out of it.

'OK, so he's not here and he's not responding on his radio.' Mitchell summarised. 'Let me be the one to state the obvious: we need to find him.'

'Right.' Daniel nodded. He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. 'We'll head back to where we were when we lost…er, when he went missing; start searching out from there.'

'Vala and I will check out the immediate area.' Sam confirmed, making a sweeping gesture around the competitors' preparation area.

The men turned to head back into the crowds. Sam turned to Siler.

'I'll watch the bike, ma'am.' Siler immediately confirmed, wiping his hands on an oily rag. His eyes sparkled as he dropped back to his knees to tighten another bolt.

'Thank you, Sergeant.' Sam picked up her back-pack and gestured at Vala. They grabbed their guns and set off towards the starting line.

Vala chewed thoughtfully. 'You don't believe he just wandered off.'

'No.' Sam admitted worriedly. For all Jack's faults, wandering off on a strange planet was not one of them. Daniel, yes; Jack, no. 'He should have responded to his radio and he would have called one of us if he was just lost.'

'So, we're looking for…' Vala checked as she gestured out at the crowds ahead of them.

'Anything that looks suspicious.' Sam clarified.

'Ah.' Vala nodded sagely.

They spotted a green three-tentacled man guarding what looked like a machine similar to a classic Harley at the same moment.

'Oh, I think I see something suspicious.' Vala drawled, her eyes travelling over the impressive muscles.

Sam snagged her arm and dragged her in the opposite direction.

'He might have had valuable information.' Vala protested, glancing over her shoulder and winking at the green guy.

The pain behind Sam's left eye increased. She was so going to kill Jack when she found him, if she didn't kill Vala first.

o-O-o

Jack raised his head from the thin pillow as Mitchell shimmied into the room and went sprawling on the cushy carpeted floor of the cell, narrowly missing Daniel who'd appeared in the same place moments before.

Mitchell looked up abashed. His eyes travelled to the archaeologist sitting beside him. 'Jackson. Wondered where you'd gone.'

'Mitchell, Daniel.' Jack spread out his arms. 'Welcome.'

'Jack.' Daniel adjusted his glasses back into place and smoothed the front of his uniform. 'We've been looking all over for you.'

Jack swung his legs off the cot and sat on the edge. 'Well, here I am.'

Mitchell scrambled to his feet and patted his jacket in bemusement – the vests and weapons he had carried were missing.

'Don't bother.' Jack told him. 'They're gone.' He gestured around the room with its beige walls and matching floor. 'This is it.'

'Transporter technology. It must have been programmed to remove the vests, equipment and weapons when it brought us here.' Daniel said. He frowned unhappily. 'I'd forgotten the Gabraderi had the ability.'

'They need to work on the landing.' Jack commented dryly as he helped Daniel off the floor.

'I'd just worked out that someone had to have used transporter technology to grab you.' Daniel ignored the three other cots and sat beside him. 'We were on our way back to get Sam to find you with one of her gadgets.'

Jack's eyes flickered to Mitchell who was examining the room pretty much as Jack had done when he'd transported in; he was at the only door. 'Door's locked; I've already tried to get it open with no luck. No windows.' He said crisply. 'Just these comfortable cots and,' he waved at a table at the back of the room which was loaded with food and water.

'You won't mind if I take another look, sir.' Mitchell said, peering at the door frame closely.

Jack's eyebrows rose a little. 'Knock yourself out.'

Daniel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. 'So this was planned.'

'Looks like it.' Jack agreed. 'And it looks like they intend keeping us here for a while.'

'You think this is about the race?' Daniel asked. His brow furrowed as he tried to make sense of it.

'You tell me.' Jack waved a hand at him. 'I've been stuck in here.'

'Teal'c knows about the transportation.' Daniel said comfortingly. 'He, Sam and Vala will rescue us.'

The air hummed.

A Jaffa shaped person appeared in the centre of the room and dropped to the floor with an audible thump.

Jack gazed at Teal'c's sprawled, unconscious form and raised a scarred eyebrow. 'Or not.'

o-O-o

'Teal'c.' Sam pressed down on her radio again. 'Did you say Daniel and Mitchell were transported? Where? Teal'c?' She exchanged a concerned look with Vala. They were standing in an alleyway; crowds of aliens swarmed on the sidewalk, gathering in preparation of the race. It was an OK alleyway as far as alleyways went; clean, tidy, no vagrants or odd smells. 'No answer. They must have got Teal'c too.'

The radio crackled.

'Er, Colonel Carter?' Siler's voice nervously transmitted through the airwaves.

Sam picked up her radio. 'Sergeant.'

'You need to come back to the bike immediately, ma'am.' Siler interrupted. 'There's someone here with information on the whereabouts of General O'Neill. He, er, wants to speak with you and Vala.'

Sam and Vala looked at each other concerned.

'We'll be right there.' Sam answered crisply. She slung her back-pack over her shoulders.

They made their way back into the crowd and pushed their way back through the throng towards the competitors' preparation area beyond the start line. They slowed as they took in who was standing beside Siler.

Ba'al.

Or one of his clones. He was standing in a sleeveless tunic and leather pants, his tanned muscular arms crossed over his broad chest. He was staring with amusement at Siler who stood in a parade ground at ease position protectively in front of her bike.

Sam's mouth twisted into a frown and she all but stomped up to the Goa'uld. 'Ba'al.'

His eyes twinkled at her as he took in her leather gear. 'Colonel Carter. It is a delight to see you again.' His gaze travelled to Vala. 'And my dear Quetesh.'

'Her name is Vala.' Sam said angrily, seeing Vala's almost imperceptible flinch at the reminder of the Goa'uld symbiote she had once unwillingly hosted. 'What do you want?'

'No small talk?' Ba'al teased. 'No how have you been and what lovely weather we are having?'

Sam's lips firmed. 'Let's just cut to the chase.'

'Very well.' Ba'al smiled at her coldly. 'General O'Neill is currently enjoying my hospitality.'

Her blood froze in her veins. She remembered reading Jack's report of the last time he'd been Ba'al's guest.

'He's unharmed and quite comfortable at a secure location on the planet surface.' Ba'al assured her. 'For now.'

'And what do we have to do to ensure he remains that way?' Vala asked. Her mobile face stilled with seriousness.

Ba'al smiled. 'What I knew you would come here to do once you learned of the prize: win the race.'

'You were the one who tipped off the Tok'ra. You want the Ancient tech.' Sam surmised. She gave a short laugh. 'You can't seriously think that we'll just hand it over to you.'

Ba'al's eyes glittered dangerously as his smile faded. 'If you don't, I'll kill him.' He leaned forward to whisper in her ear. 'Slowly.' He moved back and smiled again at the fury in her blue eyes. 'Come, come. Surely winning such a paltry race is child's play for the woman who defeated the Replicators?' He pointed at Sam. 'I'll be back after the race. If you win and hand over the prize, O'Neill will be returned to you. Safe and whole.'

'And if I lose?' Sam questioned, furious that they'd been played by the devious Goa'uld yet again.

He smirked. 'Good luck with the race. I'll be cheering for you.' He turned his back on her, apparently unconcerned and sauntered away.

Sam felt her trigger finger itch. A single shot. She could take out his head with a single shot.

'I wouldn't.' Vala cautioned quietly. 'He's no doubt got a contingency plan for his own sudden death.'

Sam eased her hand away from her gun.

'I was wondering when he was going to leave.'

All three of them spun to face the amused female tone behind them. Sam's eyes widened at the sight of the woman standing in front of them. She was a Gabraderian and had their trademark yellow skin and red eyes. She also had bright electric blue, long hair which flowed around her shoulders in a way that reminded Sam of old Charlie's Angels reruns. The bright blue plastic catsuit completed the picture. Sam glanced at the others: Vala seemed to be coveting the catsuit; Siler seemed to have swallowed his tongue.

'My name is Gotha.' The blue-haired woman smiled but it most certainly wasn't friendly. 'I have heard of the legendary warrior Samantha Carter.' She ran her eyes over Sam. 'You are most impressive.'

'Er, thank you.' Sam waved a hand over Gotha, unsure how to respond. 'And you. I mean, you're…also impressive.'

'I know.' Gotha flicked her hair back over one shoulder.

Vala raised an eyebrow.

'I have your men.' Gotha continued.

'You have my men?' Sam repeated numbly, her brain for once trying to catch up with events.

'Yes.' Gotha straightened her skin-tight cuffs. 'They're unharmed although we had to render the Jaffa unconscious. He resisted.'

'What do you want with them?' Vala jumped in before Sam could reply. 'I mean, I can see what you would want with them, they're all extremely good specimens of the male species even if I do say so myself and I can personally attest to…'

'Vala.' Sam cut her off and gestured at Gotha. 'What exactly do you want with them?'

Gotha smiled again. 'I have no interest in them as sexual partners.'

Sam and Vala exchanged a bemused look; Siler went a distinct shade of red.

'I have taken them to secure your agreement that you do not race.' Gotha said firmly. 'They will be returned to you once I have won.'

'You don't want us to race?' Vala asked confused.

'If you value your men you will not.' Gotha raised her chin challengingly. 'Race and you will never see them again.'

'And you have all of them?' Sam checked. 'All three?'

'Four.' Gotha corrected.

'Why not just abduct me or Vala if you wanted to win the race?' Sam asked bluntly.

Gotha looked horrified. 'Physically harming a fellow sister is against the most sacred of Gabraderian laws.'

'Ah.' Sam sighed.

'So, as you can't hurt us, you intend to win this race by abducting our men and threatening us to stay out of it.' Vala nodded approvingly.

Gotha acknowledged the compliment with a tilt of her head. 'The decision is yours.' She strode away without another word.

'Well, I'm confused.' Vala declared loudly. 'She says she has all our men but Ba'al said he had General O'Neill. She doesn't want us to race; he does. Who's lying? Ba'al or Blue Barbie?'

'Ba'al.' Sam offered sourly. 'He probably saw us searching for the General and decided to take advantage of it. He didn't realise the rest of the guys are missing now too.'

Siler cleared his throat. 'What are we going to do, ma'am?'

Her blue eyes glittered with determination. 'We're going to find the rest of SG1, win the race despite…Blue Barbie, keep our prize and kill Ba'al.' She thought for a moment. 'Maybe not in that order.'

'It's a certainly an ambitious To-do list.' Vala declared brightly. She swept the dust off a nearby stone wall and sat down. 'Any ideas on how we accomplish it?'

'Gotha's a Gabraderian. She must have used Gabraderian technology to transport our guys from the city into some kind of holding cell.' Sam mused out loud. 'She must have taken the General first to ensure that our preparation was impacted and the others now so we couldn't race.'

'We do have less than an hour to the start time.' Vala said. 'So we find the transporter device and use it to get the boys back?'

'Or we just find out where they are.' Sam tapped her gun thoughtfully and set it aside as she reached back into her back-pack. 'Ba'al's given me an idea.'

'He has?' Vala questioned, chewing her lip. 'Is it a good one?'

Sam nodded, brushing a lock of hair out of her eyes impatiently as she bent over a small hand-held device. 'I tried finding General O'Neill earlier by tracking his sub-dermal locator beacon but I couldn't get a lock probably because the General on his own wasn't generating a big enough signal but if we're lucky, the fact that Gotha has all four…'

'Might boost the signal the way having so many Ba'al clones in one place allowed Ba'al to punch through the jamming field at the SGC.' Vala completed. 'Got ya.' She looked over Sam's shoulder. 'Well?'

Sam raised her head and smiled triumphantly. 'Found them.' She got to her feet as Vala hoisted her weapon. 'Siler…'

'I'll stay with the bike, ma'am.' He confirmed. 'Good luck.'

o-O-o

Sam put down the scope and looked through the foliage at the red building across the street with a deep frown. She nudged Vala next to her. The other woman lowered her binoculars.

'Two guards at the door.' Vala remarked casually. 'Possibly more inside.'

'I can't see any armament.' Sam noted as she put the scope to her eye again and took in the bright blue outfits. 'Just muscle.'

Vala flashed a bright smile. 'My type of guard.' She cracked her knuckles. 'I believe we can handle them.'

Sam shrugged, amused. 'I'll take the one on the left.' She pushed off the ground while Vala wriggled back.

They both brushed the dirt off their leather BDUs. Vala caught Sam's arm and brushed a leaf off Sam's shoulder; Sam removed one from Vala's hair. They set off across the road, their weapons hidden behind their backs.

Vala waved jauntily at the two men who looked at her warily.

'Gentlemen,' Vala smiled widely, 'my friend and I are taking part in the race today and we're a little lost.' She twirled a pigtail. 'I don't suppose either of you could help us.' She pouted adorably.

Sam did her best to look like the dumb blonde Rodney McKay had once called her and gave a pained smile.

The two men looked at each other and shrugged. They moved forward a step from the door.

Sam spun on her heel and caught the one on the left in the jaw with her booted foot as Vala slammed the heel of her hand into the face of the one on the right. Both men went down. Sam whacked her target's head with the butt of her gun; Vala settled for kicking hers into the wall. Both beefy guards were out cold.

Vala immediately stooped and started to search their pockets. She delved into the pant pocket of one, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth as she rooted around.

'Vala. You're not supposed to be having fun.' Sam remarked dryly as she covered her team-mate.

The jangle of keys and Vala's satisfied grin were the other woman's only answer.

The heavy front door gave way to the second key they tried. They swept the three upper floors of the building efficiently and found no one although they discovered the guys' vests, guns and backpacks piled in a corner of a room on the first floor.

'Well, where are they?' Vala noted as they reconvened in the hallway.

Sam looked at her tracking device again. 'They're here.' She looked down at the floor and back up to Vala.

'Basement.' They said in unison.

'I didn't see a door, did you see a door?' Vala said, looking around wildly.

'Let's find it.' Sam said determinedly. 'We only have twenty minutes before the race starts.'

It took another five minutes of searching before they found the stairwell at the back of the building. Sam was aware of the ticking clock as they took in the single door in the middle of the narrow corridor.

'Door number one it is.' Vala quipped. She took a step towards it and suddenly the corridor was filled with criss-crossing laser beams. She hurriedly ducked, curling up into a small ball. 'Oops.'

'Stay still.' Sam reached into a vest pocket and took out a small mirror.

'Samantha,' Vala began, 'not that I don't have complete confidence in you and normally I would be the first to fully support checking to make sure one's appearance was fantastic in the middle of a laser trap but…'

'I'm going to take out the lasers using the mirror to angle the beams.' Sam explained as she crouched down. She sucked in her bottom lip. She carefully waggled the mirror into position. 'OK. Here I go.'

'Sam.' Vala's voice betrayed her anxiety.

'Don't worry.' Sam muttered as the laser hit the mirror squarely and reflected off the surface back onto the wall. 'I'm fairly sure this worked for MacGyver.'

The beam started to move as Sam shifted the mirror slowly. The beam hit the laser source with a short bang. The lasers disappeared. Vala rose and stretched. They made for the door.

A silver Goa'uld device with an amber stone was attached over the handle. Sam frowned. 'This looks vaguely familiar but I don't think we've ever come across it before.'

'It's the equivalent of a Goa'uld padlock.' Vala informed her. She glanced at her. 'They were popular with the Tok'ra at one time.'

Sam winced. 'I guess Jolinar must have used them then.'

'Quetesh used them all the time to lock up treasure.' Vala noted as she slung her P90 over her shoulder. 'Do you…?'

'After you.' Sam invited. She hoisted her weapon to cover Vala.

The brunette placed her hand over the amber stone and it activated, glowing softly. She closed her eyes and gently turned the device left then right. It clicked off and she caught it, lowering it to the floor. She checked with Sam who gave a sharp nod. Vala slung her gun back round, reached forward and pushed the door.

It swung open.

They both inched forward.

'Well, it's about time!' Jack declared loudly. He was already on his feet, shrugging into his jacket.

Daniel helped Teal'c get to his feet slowly. The Jaffa had evidently taken quite a knock to the head.

'Sorry, sir.' Sam said dryly. 'But if you do insist on getting lost off-world.' She looked at Teal'c. 'You OK?'

'I am well, Colonel Carter.'

'Aren't you supposed to be racing?' Mitchell asked as they all hustled out of the building.

Sam glanced at Jack. 'With your permission, sir – Vala will fill you in.'

'Sure, Carter. Go. Race.' Jack said, with a get-out-of-here motion. 'Good luck! Oh and hey,' he called after her as she started to run, 'don't forget to win the damn thing!'

'Yes, sir!' Sam yelled back, peripherally aware that Mitchell and Daniel were flanking her protectively as they ran back to the competitor's preparation area.

Siler was pacing by the bike. 'The start gun went ten minutes ago, Colonel, but you should be able to catch up.'

Sam quickly exchanged her gun for her helmet as she mounted her motorcycle. She revved the engines and shot out of the preparation area like a bullet. She leaned forward, keeping her body low and tight, almost flush with the bike. She gave it more power, accelerated down the first stretch of straight road, the wind rushing over her, its pull tugging over her body, flattening the leather against her body.

Adrenaline flooded her; her heart pounded and her breath caught sharply in her chest as she gulped in air. She braked, leaned into the curve, came out smoothly the other side. It was the closest thing to flying without leaving the ground.

She saw the first contestant up ahead, struggling with a hill. Sam kicked up the power, switched gears and zipped past her opponent, a dust trail the only sign of her as she crested the hill. The drop on the other side was sharp; the wheels left the ground. Sam kept her cool and landed with only a small bump. She passed three more; caught a glimpse of four bikes in a heap with the contestants stood around yelling.

The next straight road, she kicked it up another gear; pushed the upper speed of the bike. The scenery went by in a blur. One, two, three more contestants went by in a blur. She ignored another bike by the side of the road, the rider weaving and waving their arms.

Sam pushed the bike more; leaned lower on the curves, was quicker and smoother as she found the right push and pull.

Two more contestants were fighting in the middle of the road – Sam swerved and pushed on, cursing the break in her speed.

She was running out of track; three more straights, three more bends.

There was a biker ahead of her on the curve. Sam sped up and overtook her as they both shifted into the straight.

Speed, unadulterated speed. Heart hammering. Engine humming. Body buzzing.

Another curve. Another overtake. She pushed the bike to its limit.

One more curve.

One more straight.

And there, ahead of her, blue hair streaming like a tribal banner: Gotha.

Sam flattened her body to the bike; pushed the gas. She arrowed the bike like a missile down the road.

Two hundred yards to the finish line and she had a wheel in front of Gotha's bike.

One hundred and Gotha caught her up.

Fifty.

Gotha inched in front.

Twenty.

Sam was level.

She opened up the throttle; pressed into the bike as though she could meld with it.

One.

Her wheel went over the line first.

Sam skidded as she braked hard and swerved, coming to a halt with a screech of rubber. She undid the helmet and shook out her blonde hair, feeling the strands sticking to her sweat covered face. She swiped at her eyes. She grinned triumphantly as Gotha glared at her.

Vala half-ran, half-skipped over to Sam whooping loudly; the rest of SG1 not far behind her. Sam grinned as Vala hugged her, as Mitchell picked her up and spun her round, as Daniel and Teal'c lined up for hugs and the General whispered 'nice job, Carter' in her ear.

She had won.

o-O-o

Siler had already taken the motorcycle back to the SGC when SG1 made their way back to the Stargate. They had stayed to enjoy the formal celebrations and the prize-giving.

Sam was content to loiter at the back of the group as they made their way through the empty streets, simply holding her P90 and looking impossibly smug; her body ached all over. Jack kept pace beside her on one side, the Ancient device in his arms. Ahead, Vala was teasing Daniel and Mitchell under Teal'c's tolerant gaze.

They turned a corner and froze at the sight of Ba'al and five of his minions in the middle of the deserted road. Guns flew into position on both sides.

Ba'al fixed his gaze on Jack. 'O'Neill.'

'Ba'al.' Jack smirked. He gestured. 'Lovely day, don't you think?'

'Lovely.' Ba'al answered politely as though they were meeting at a garden party rather than in the middle of a Gabraderian street with weapons pointed at each other. 'And how are you?'

'Knees are a little bad.' Jack commented insincerely. 'But mustn't complain.' He peered at the Goa'uld. 'Got to say you look a little pale, Ba'al.' He smiled. 'Copies are never as bright as the original, don't you think?'

Ba'al smiled tightly. Nobody could wind the Goa'uld up faster than Jack, Sam thought proudly.

'As much as I would love to stand around and exchange pleasantries all day, I have other things to do so if you'll just hand over the Ancient device, I will be on my way.' Ba'al said. He sounded almost bored.

'So not going to happen.' Jack retorted cheerfully.

'I have you surrounded.' Ba'al informed him.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. Nobody looked behind them.

'Ah.' Jack grinned. 'You were probably expecting five men, really big with bad attitudes?' He shrugged. 'We had an unfortunate accident with the zats a few streets ago. Strange how the zats just discharged like that, don't you think, Carter?'

Ba'al looked pissed.

'Very strange, sir.' Sam agreed in an equally cheerful tone to the General.

'It doesn't change anything.' Ba'al said smoothly. 'There are six of you and six of us.'

'I know,' Jack commiserated, puffing out his chest, 'it hardly seems fair.' It was clear he rated SG1's chances.

Daniel sidled up to Jack. 'We could give it to him.'

Jack looked at his friend askance. 'Daniel.'

'Jack.'

'We're not giving it to him.' Jack determined. 'Carter won this for me, I mean, for us. It's ours.' He glared at Daniel.

'Doctor Jackson is right.' Ba'al said forcefully. 'You should give me the device. After all, I think you'll find I have the advantage, O'Neill.' He gestured at his merry men. 'I have five strapping young men standing beside me.'

'Yes.' Jack raised his eyebrows a little. 'Strapping.' He leaned into Sam and said quite loudly. 'You know I always wondered but I didn't like to say.'

Vala snorted.

'You, on the other hand,' Ba'al continued undeterred, 'have one elderly Jaffa,'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

'…two rather feeble human men,' Ba'al added.

'Hey!' Mitchell and Daniel protested in unison, both looking at each other as though to check out the truth of Ba'al's description.

'And two human women even if one is the delectable Quetesh.'

The shot was quick and loud.

Ba'al looked down at the wound in his chest before his eyes rolled back and his body dropped to the ground.

Vala lowered her gun and looked around at the assembled stunned gathering. She gave an annoyed huff. 'He just won't learn that it's rude to call a woman the wrong name.'

'Indeed.' Teal'c said dryly.

SG1 looked at Ba'al's men; Ba'al's men looked back at SG1 and took off at a run.

'Sweet.' Jack declared. He made a moue of disgust at Ba'al's body. 'I don't suppose…'

'Probably a clone.' Sam said regretfully.

Mitchell grinned delighted. 'That's twenty clones for SG1.'

'Let's go home.' Jack said brightly.

The rest of the walk to the Stargate was made without incident and they trooped down the ramp at Stargate Command, boots hitting the ramp in rhythmic familiarity and sporting wide smiles of satisfaction.

General Landry was waiting for them with twinkling eyes. 'Sergeant Siler said it went well. I understand congratulations are in order, Colonel Carter.'

Sam nodded, unable to prevent the grin that spread across her face. 'Yes, sir.'

'We rescued the boys, won the race, kept the prize and killed Ba'al.' Vala recited happily, grinning at Sam. 'I think we ticked off everything on our To-do list.'

Landry's eyebrows disappeared underneath his brush-like brown hair. He looked at Mitchell. 'You were captured?'

'Well, sir…' Mitchell began hesitantly.

'By Blue Barbie.' Vala said helpfully, much to the amusement of the gate room. 'Fabulous taste in clothes although blue is so last year.'

'Sounds like it will be an interesting debriefing.' Landry moved the subject on swiftly. 'Is this the device?' He gestured at the object Jack carried.

Jack held it aloft proudly. 'It is.'

'So do we have any idea what it does?' Landry asked brusquely, looking at the team's scientists expectantly.

Daniel nodded. 'I think I've translated the markings.'

'You never said!' Vala beat Jack to the retort.

'I tried when we ran into Ba'al.' Daniel protested with some frustration. He pushed his glasses up his nose.

'So what is it?' Landry asked impatiently.

Everyone turned to Daniel.

'Er, well, as unbelievable as this sounds,' Daniel said hesitantly, 'as it turns out…'

'Daniel.' Jack ordered briskly.

'Toaster.' Daniel said. 'It's a toaster.'

They all looked at him nonplussed. They all looked at the Ancient device nonplussed.

'Debrief in one hour.' Landry said and walked away.

'A toaster?' Mitchell sighed and headed for the door. 'Damn. We are _never_ going to live this down.'

Teal'c turned on his heel and swiftly followed him. Daniel shot Sam an apologetic smile and headed out the door.

Jack cleared his throat. 'Carter,' he said formally, 'I think this is yours.' He ceremoniously presented Sam with the Ancient device with a wink before he deserted her. She narrowed her eyes at his departing back.

Vala slung an arm around her. 'As my first husband always said, you can never have too many toasters.' She tapped the Ancient device. 'But then we did get eight as wedding gifts.'

Sam looked back at her; she knew Vala told the truth only half the time but she couldn't be bothered to worry about it. She had won the race! Sam grinned as they walked away from the ramp. 'We kicked butt.'

Vala nodded enthusiastically. 'We kicked Blue Barbie butt.'

'And Ba'al butt.' Sam added, handing over her weapons absently as she clung onto the toaster.

'Yes.' Vala's face screwed up in disgust. 'Ba'al butt.'

'But more importantly,' Sam said firmly as she guided Vala into the elevator, 'I've always wanted an Ancient toaster.'

'What girl doesn't?' Vala asked in complete agreement.

The elevator doors closed.

fin.


End file.
